All I want for Seiretei
by Zedd07
Summary: Ken-chan and I really want the perfect Christmas tree, complete with eggnogs and presents and cookies and milk and lights and stars and glass balls and icicles just like Whiney-chan said! - Yachiru Kusajishi, Eleventh Division Vice-Captain
1. Snow Wars

**Author's Notes:** This story is set after the Bountou arc, and to my convenience approaching the Christmas holidays. To the readers, I'm sorry to have posted this fic after Christmas, but on a lighter note, expect a few more of these snippets to see how our friends will spend the holidays in Seiretei! Have fun and enjoy, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!

**Chapter One: Snow Wars**

Outside the fourth division's quarters, snowflakes gently fell from the evening sky as the last quarter moon bathed the snow-covered grounds a soft blue hue. Ishida walked towards one of the windows to witness Seiretei during its December evenings and wondered how things were going in their world and all at once missing sitting in front of the Christmas tree and the fireplace with his family.

"Ishida-san, I'm sorry to be keeping you this long from going back home, but Unohana-taichou advised to keep all of you here for the meantime so that you can recover well." Came Hanatarou's shy voice from behind.

"I understand, we're grateful for your help." Ishida turned to the healer before glancing at Sado's bunk for reaffirmation of what has been said. Apparently, the occupant was nowhere to be found, except for the turtle doll Nova that Sado always kept for company. "Have you seen Sado-kun?"

Nova nodded. "He went out a while ago."

Outside in the freezing cold, Sado gave a momentary glance at the window where Ishida had been dwelling before continuing his trek across the grounds. With Christmas just a few days away and the prospect of going home before then slowly fading as they are yet to recover from the Bountou fiasco, Sado could feel Ishida's longing as he recalled spending his early Christmas evenings with his grandfather in Mexico. Though there had been no snow and no fireplaces, they had a Christmas tree put up back then, and though there were no snow angels to do they had midnight feasts of bread and butter with coffee. They had to make do with what they had back then, but what was important was that they had each other.

They might not have their families as of the moment, but they still had their friends. All he had to do was to make do with what they had. With a smile on his face, Sado found a way to bring Christmas in Seiretei.

Small, round prints found their way towards Sado as Nova ignored the cold gust of wind that blew the flaps of his doll costume. When he saw what the man was currently doing, he proceeded to help without asking no questions, piling as much snow as he could in his little green arms and deposited it to the heap that was Sado's work.

It was during their task that Captain Hitsugaya and Lieutenant Matsumoto of the tenth squad chose to appear; they spotted the gentle giant and his turtle doll in the middle of the fourth division's grounds. "You shouldn't be outside in this weather. What you're doing can't be good for your injury." Matsumoto reprimanded lightly.

"It's good for the heart." Sado replied shortly, having meant it in more ways than one. "I didn't have anything else to do inside and I thought a short walk could do me good."

"I think you've been out too long." Hitsugaya said, observing the snow spheres on top of each other. "What's that?"

"Snowman."

"Snowman? Wait, I think I've seen these things in your world." Matsumoto leaned closer to note that the snowman had two smooth water stones for eyes and a bunch of small rougher ones for the mouth which curved to a smile. "It's missing a nose."

"I don't have anything for a nose."

Matsumoto looked down at the stuff toy that was Nova and picked him up, ignoring the doll's cheeks blushing bright pink. "We could use Nova-kun's head."

"I-iya." Nova stammered, hiding his face inside his clothes.

"Matsumoto-san, I don't think Nova would want that." Sado-kun replied with a straight face, though his eyes shone with amusement upon noticing the slight dust of pink under the doll's beady eyes.

With the doll still in hand, Matsumoto ran towards a tree and broke something from its branches. When Matsumoto came back, she poked the snowman's face with a twig. Then she took off her peach scarf and draped it over the snowman's neck. "I'd give anything for a hat right now to complete the look but I'm afraid it's all we have."

Sado smiled faintly as the shinigami took the phrase right off his mind. Christmas didn't have to be spent in front of giant christmas tree full of presents underneath. To him and his grandfather, there is Christmas in bread and butter and coffee. To him and Matsumoto and perhaps Hitsugaya, there is Christmas underneath a gentle shower of snowflakes in front of a snowman with no hat.

As Sado and Nova taught the two shinigamis how to make another snowman, Ishida stepped out into the grounds slightly shivering under the blanket he had draped around him. He smiled at Hitsugaya and Matsumoto who had managed to get themselves into a small snowball fight in front of a half-done snow woman.

"Unohana-san told me to get you inside." Ishida adjusted his glasses, trying not to notice the ongoing ruckus that was Matsumoto and Hitsugaya, armed with a dozen of snowballs each. "What were you doing?"

"Trying to remember what Christmas was like." Sado shrugged. "Then again we didn't have snow in Mexico."

Ishida didn't know what to say; he'd ask how he had spent his Christmas but then Sado had lived alone ever since he left for Japan. Like Inoue-san, Sado had been celebrating holidays and birthdays on his own, which made him think how lucky he still was considering he had a family to go back to after everything that has happened.

Nova spared a glance at his human companion and the Quincy, sensing their depressed reiatsus in contrast to the sudden bursts of irritation and wild amusement from the two shinigamis currently chasing each other across the grounds. "I will not tolerate this, Matsumoto, however neither will I give in to your childish games." Hitsugaya stood his ground and crossed his arms, sulking and glaring at his dancing and gloating vice-captain.

"You're the child Hitsugaya-taichou, live like it." Matsumoto laughed, throwing a snowball and hitting her captain squarely on the chest.

"Precisely, I'm the child and you should start acting like the lady that you're supposed to be and quit acting like an obnoxious little g-...MATSUMOTO!"

Nova sweatdropped as he tried to avoid the stampede that was the tenth division captain who apparently had bits of snow on his face and his mouth. Nova warped himself out of harm's way only to find himself beside the scheming vice captain, eagerly scooping more of the white stuff in her hands. "Quick, more snowballs!"

Ishida's glasses glinted under the moonlight, gratefully covering the smirk that was threatening to erase the slight frown on his face. "I sent Nova to fetch you."

"Sou ka," Sado answered, recalling that his little green friend had not mentioned anything about getting inside, in fact, he had not said anything at all. Instead, he set to work to help Sado in his small mission, to bring happiness back to life with a simple snowman. It seemed that Nova saw the purpose within that little task, and understood how it felt to be alone. A grateful smile touched Sado's lips as his eyes searched for his little friend. Apparently it seems that Nova has found himself caught in the heat of the war, and his obedience has cost him terribly as he caught up with Matsumoto and reached up to her with a small pile of snow in his arms.

"Matsumoto!" Hitsugaya screamed as he brandished his zanpaktou while he ran aimlessly toward his giggling vice-captain who fortunately had a useful mod soul in her command. A frustrated growl escaped Hitsugaya's lips as Nova and Matsumoto yet again disappeared into the void that the turtle doll had created.

"Now!" Matsumoto screamed gleefully as she reappeared with Nova by the trees. Matsumoto's voice froze Hitsugaya in his tracks, as a pile of snowballs warped themselves above the poor captain's head.

"NOVA!!!"

Ishida looked in the same direction and let out a small laugh. It was the first time he had laughed since the Bountou incident, and it felt good.

When the Quincy's eyes rested upon him, Sado replied, "Let's have Christmas here."

Ishida nodded and smiled at his friend gratefully.

Up Next! Chapter Two: Grinch vs The Candyman!


	2. Grinch vs The Candyman

**Author's notes:**Ohayou minna! Hope you liked the first installment! I'm updating this real fast to catch up before the holidays are finished. Once again Merry Christmas and Happy New year everyone!

**Chapter Two: Grinch vs The Candyman**

Renji knew he must look like a genuine idiot as he stood in front of his captain upon returning from the mortal world with a good idea in mind to lessen the tension enveloping Seiretei especially the heads of the protection squads. With the bountou case done and with renewed worries pertaining to Kyousuke Aizen and his minions, Ichimaru Gin, Tousen Kaname and countless hollows, menos grandes and gillians, Renji thought Christmas is a valid enough excuse for them to relax.

"Kris-u Kringur," Kuchiki Byakuya, captain of the sixth division tried the foreign word aloud. With an elegant raven brow arched, his questioning gaze allowed his subordinate to explain further, daring him to prove that his idea was stupid to begin with.

"Kuchiki-taichou," Renji began imploringly, "we could celebrate Christmas in Seiretei. I mean, we celebrate valentines, don't we? Ukitake-taichou gives candies and chocolates to Hitsugaya-taichou on almost every occasion."

With Byakuya's gaze unfaltered, he absently wondered where the white-haired captain of the thirteenth division stocked all the sweets. 'Why, it must be enough to feed the whole of Seiretei for weeks.' The captain though wryly. He'd even once considered asking Rukia about it, but he valued his dignity more than his curiosity. "We can celebrate Christmas without this tradition in which you speak of. We have done so before and I don't see why we should start observing it this year."

"But Christmas is a season of giving," Renji reasoned, and immediately wished that he could smack himself in the head at how childish that had sounded. "If you're worried about expenses, well it doesn't have to be expensive and whatever it is you have to give you could make it yourself."

He didn't need this right now. He was terribly tired. "Renji, you cannot persuade people to give if they do not wish to do so. Though you say Christmas is a season of giving, it must also come from the heart." Byakuya recited what he learned from the practices and beliefs of this ocassion called Christmas, which was true to begin with. That and the fact that he needed new Gensenkais. Someone should know how expensive they are, given that they are rare to the point that he is the only one wearing them in all of Seiretei. Come to think of it, he highly doubted anyone in Rukongai wore them either. Nevertheless, he needed the damn things; his hair was always getting in the way and he'd rather be killed than be caught trying to put his locks in some semblance of order after every Shunpo. Yes, charity must start at home.

The look on Renji's face could have melted the captain's heart, unfortunately, the redhead was contending with someone resembling to a grinch, only this one didn't look like the heartless green monster that people see in television shows. Renji knew the man's stern and determined frown, and so with a defeated sigh, he muttered, "You're right, Kuchiki-taichou. Maybe I could ask those who might be interested." With that, he turned to leave.

Had Renji not turned his back so sooner, he would have seen his captain roll his eyes in a mixture of guilt and feelings of ridiculousness. In the end, the grinch has the biggest heart of all. "Where are you going?"

"I was to deliver a message to Ukitake-taichou," Renji faced his captain, with a slight frown of disappointment. Byakuya only had raise a brow to show his doubt before Renji sheepishly added, "and ask if he might be interested to participate in the Kris kringle."

Despite years in the different squads in which the redhead had taken part of, his face, however marred with his ridicuous tattoos still held a childlike countenance. One which Byakuya found terribly effective against his tendency to be stubborn - except that one time when Renji had asked to be permitted to release Rukia, in which Byakuya was hell bent on following the rules.

Renji's magic was working, and it irritated Byakuya all the more. That and the fact that he had failed to extinguish the growing curiosity pertaining to the candy dealer that was the sickly captain of the thirteenth division.

Perhaps there must be something more to those sweets than there should be. Those subordinates of his couldn't be eternally on a sugar high, could they? "I have matters to discuss with Ukitake myself." Byakuya announced, trying to keep a straight face and marched ahead of his vice-captain.

And then it dawned upon him, that he could use the Kris Kringle in his plans to figure out the whole candy conspiracy. An image of him dangling a carrot in front of an eager Renji bunny almost broke the usual frown Byakuya had eternally etched on his face.

Renji blinked before following the man out to the grounds. Little did he know of the scheme that the captain was building inside his mind.

"I'm rethinking this whole Kris Kringle thing that you plan to hold." Byakuya broke the silence, as they made their way inside the thirteenth division's grounds. In all truth, he found the tradition useful in more ways than one; by agreeing to participate he could prove that he isn't the heartless bastard everyone seems to take him for and he would have Renji's full cooperation to not give him away to the unsuspecting Ukitake. That and the possibility of him getting new Gensenkais from whoever is assigned to give him a gift. Possibly a scarf; yes, he could use a thicker one as he noted with disbelief that the temperature have dropped ten degrees lower this year compared to the last.

In his musings, he failed to notice the little victory dance Renji made behind him.

The grounds were awfully quiet at this time of day, and it seemed almost deserted, with only a few of Ukitake's subordinates scattered across the grounds, talking to people from other divisions. Almost none noticed their arrival , if it weren't for Ukitake's two hyper subordinates, who raced towards the building in which they claimed that their captain currently resided. Byakuya ignored their request for him and Renji to wait at the white-haired captain's office and retraced the duo's steps towards the afforementioned building, against Renji's protest to follow what they have been told to do.

There must be many people inside judging from the noise emanating from the doors. Immediately, Byakuya switched into detective mode as he cautiously slid the doors open.

"N-nii-sama!"

Byakuya missed the surprised look on his little sister's face as he looked further into the small warehouse where sacks upon sacks of goodies lined the walls and populated the floors in neat rows. Subordinates of the thirteenth captain rushed towards their customers armed with the bags of candies they have ordered to pay.

Renji covered his mouth to no avail as he laughed uncontrollably at Rukia who had managed to stuff her mouth with chocolates. He felt little regret by having done so, as Rukia promptly punched him in the face. The merciless vice-captain collapsed in giggles on the floor.

"Byakuya-kun!" A rather ecstatic Ukitake greeted as he made his way amidst throngs of sweets. "What brings you here?" Indeed, it was a rare occurence that the sixth division captain paid him visits, even at times when he was bedridden from serious cough, which unfortunately occured more often nowadays due to the cold weather.

"You failed to mention this business you have," Byakuya replied coldly, before adding, "My vice-captain has something important to say." Apparently, said redhead was still cackling insanely on the ground, narrowly avoiding the stomps Rukia angrily directed upon him.

Ukitake dismissively waved at him. "It's no secret. I have stalls in Rukongai that I periodically visit. This is merely a warehouse to stock the goods in, convenient than having them in Rukongai because we could keep close watch against robbers, I'm sure you know how it is." Ukitake beamed. "Incidentally it's the holidays and people here in Seiretei find it easier to just come here directly."

"I see."

"It's on the house if you find anything you like." Ukitake winked before attending to Renji who had revived himself from the stampede that was Rukia.

"Nii-sama," Rukia muttered in greeting as she glanced up at her brother.

Byakuya couldn't be any more irritated at having discovered that almost everyone knew Ukitake had a business. He was wrong about thinking that the man had enough to feed Seiretei, when in fact, he had more to sell to the people in Rukongai. And to think that his sister had known all along, he could have just asked. "Does that one have almonds?"

Rukia glanced at the chocolate bar she had in her hand before shaking her head.

Good. Byakuya needed the sugar high.

Up Next! Christmas in Hueco Mundo!


	3. Christmas in Hueco Mundo

**Author's notes:**Sorry if I'm rushing this, but it's almost the new years. I hope you like it so far, please continue reading! Happy New year everyone!

**Chapter Three: Christmas in Hueco Mundo**

Kira Izuru could vaguely remember refusing Hisagi's invitation; in fact, Kira had been strongly against drinking until that incident involving the three ex-captains of the three divisions, that of the third, fifth and the ninth. It was Matsumoto's influence that got him and Hisagi to a drunken stupor, that he couldn't forget how hard he blushed when they had to walk out the tenth division's grounds naked, as someone seemed to have been struck by the sudden inspiration to be evil enough to hide their clothes.

So why was he tossing the contents of his sixth cup into his mouth?

"I wonder what Aizen-taichou's doing right now," Hinamori drawled out, tracing the mouth of her cup absently.

Ah, yes. He remembered now.

"Ne, Kira-kun, don' be so hard on y'self." Hisagi, vice-captain of the ninth division, let out a hiccup before pouring himself another cup of sake.

"Why do I allow m'self to get caught up wit' these things?" Kira could hardly keep his vision straight as he gazed in utter amusement at how Hisagi could manage to go around in circles without moving from where he was seated. He swerved his head toward Hinamori's direction and got his question immediately answered; Hisagi exclusively invited Hinamori just so he could come along. And why was that? Couldn't Hisagi himself drink to his heart's content without including them? "Jus so y' know, I'm keeping close watch at m' clothes. Don' wanna em-embrass myself, I'm vice-cap'n for cryin' out loud."

"You can't keep close watch at anything when you're like that's what you mean." Ikakku snorted as he confidently downed his fourth. "Che' vice-captain you say, and yet you couldn't hold down your liquor if your life depended on it."

"S'why we invited you in the first place. Gotta pick up after the vice-cap's, third seat." Hisagi teased before snickering.

"Urusai! You just couldn't admit I'm the expert. At least you guys know how to keep the booze comin', not like that idiot of a vice-captain of Komamura-taichou's."

"Hey! Don't talk like I'm not here." Iba barked, slamming down his cup.

"Hey, tha's s'nough. I invited you guys to party, not to fight." Hisagi tried to subdue his worsening hiccups to no avail.

"Some party. Where's the fun?"

"Fun starts when they get thoroughly sloshed." Iba answered Ikakku, laughing.

"Fun starts when we forget," Hisagi chuckled bitterly, trying to erase his frown with a smile.

Kira looked up to see Hinamori sharing Hisagi's grief, of spending the holidays without their captains. While Kira hadn't been as close with Ichimaru Gin, he was thankful for the times when his captain had been more than willing to lend a helping hand. Though he couldn't quite forget that stunt he and Aizen Sousuke did with Hinamori-chan. How could she miss the man who almost murdered her? "Bet they're havin' hell of a time wherever they are right now." Kira snorted, swagging the bottle and pouring himself another. "And by that I meant it in the other sense of the word 'hell'."

Visions of the three ex-captains in Hueco Mundo flooded their minds, as Kira albeit vividly described them to his drunken companions.

_"Who's this from?" Came Gin's smooth voice as he smiled while he received his gift from Aizen without fail._

_"It's from," Aizen flipped the tag before giving the package completely. "him."_

_"Thank you," Gin smiled at the direction to which the man pointed before slightly frowning, "which one?"_

_"Hollow number three, I think."_

_"Thank you, hollow number three!"_

_The hollow beside hollow number three blinked confusedly, "But I was the one who gave the gift, Gin-taichou."_

_"Well then, thank you hollow number four."_

_"No, sir. Hollow number two. You can call me Herb."_

_"In that case, thanks...Herb." Having unwrapped the gift and taking out a big tube of toothpaste and a white toothbrush, Gin's smile almost flailed._

_"For sparkling white teeth, Ichimaru-taichou."_

_Aizen snickered. "I didn't know hollows had a sense of humor."_

_Gin gazed at the present dispairingly. "It's almost as if they're trying to say I have cavities."_

_"Tousen-taichou. Please open my present for you." Hollow number one left the band of Hollows standing meekly on the other side of the captains._

_The ex-captain of the ninth division groped for the package that said Hollow offered to him. Aizen and Gin dissolved into giggles upon the unwrapping of said gift._

_"Feels like an umbrella." Tousen Kaname pondered, running his hands over the long object in question._

_Gin turned in time to avoid seeing the blind man brandish his new cane. Just the image in his mind made him roll on the floor trying to subdue his laugh._

_"Let's see what you gave me," Aizen arched a brow at said white-haired man on the ground, before ripping his package open. "I don't use this anymore." Aizen frowned, holding the pair of eyeglasses up under the light._

_"I think you still need it, Aizen-taichou," Gin teased. "You couldn't tell who gave me my present."_

_"If you think you're so much better than me, then tell me to which hollow you should give that exchange gift you have there."_

_Gin sighed. "I almost wish going back to Seiretei. At least death gods don't look alike."_

Okay, so maybe Kira got a little carried away.

"That's rude, Kira-kun!" Hinamori stood and pointed an accusing finger at Ikakku, prompting said man to laugh and fall over.

"Kira couldn't have lost that much hair, Hinamori. You're smashed!" Iba cackled, before receiving a punch in the head from Ikakku.

"I miss Aizen-taichou." Hinamori pouted and collapsed beside Kira, who yelped when the bottle in his hand got grabbed by the girl.

"So tha's what you meant by hell." Hisagi snickered. "My mistake."

"What did you think it was?" Ikakku had to ask.

_Tousen Kaname leant close to hear more clearly about Aizen's future plans to rule over Seire-_

_"Ve shall rule ze vorld!" Cackles ensued from Aizen Sousuke, ex-captain of the fifth division recently turned German._

_Tousen face-faulted; of course Aizen was more ambitious than he thought. In addition to the recent discovery that Aizen was in fact German._

_"I didn't know Aizen-taichou was German." Gin pondered aloud, watching along the spectacle of Aizen's little parade consisting of two Menos Grandes carrying Aizen's carriage around Hueco Mundo. "He's so far up high."_

_"Maybe he overdid it with the Menos." Tousen couldn't care less; it's not like he could see anything anyway._

_"It amuses me how much he could enjoy himself what with how everything here looks like," Gin took a quick glance at the ragged cliffs and the dark cloudy skies. Not to mention the fact that he could hardly see nor hear Aizen's near-hysterical laughter from way up high._

_"Join me in our celebration to be the future conquistadors of the world!" Aizen raised his hands up high._

_Now that can't be right; Gin swore the ex-captain said something in Spanish._

_"Did he say 'contingencies'?" Tousen leaned close to ask. To which Gin rolled his eyes at; not only was the man blind, he was nearly deaf as well. "Or was it commisaries?" Tousen nagged._

_"What did you say?" Gin yelled up at Aizen._

_"Didn't you hear?! I said join me!"_

_"After that."_

_"What?"_

_"What?"_

Hisagi dissolved into laughter as he flung himself to the ground, drowning himself with the sake flowing from his overturned cup.

"Shame on you, Hisagi-kun, and to think that Tousen-taichou's your captain," Hinamori scolded the chair from which Hisagi had fallen from, much to Ikakku's and Iba's amusement. "More importantly they're not in hell! They're in He...Heck...Somewhere out there!"

Kira promptly banged his head on the table snickering.

"Of course, Hinamori-chan, they're not. They're in Hueco Mundo with the Menos and riding carriages that reach the dark cloudy skies." Ikakku patted the girl's head with a laugh, before the girl plopped down her seat, half-sulking and half falling asleep.

"What say you we steal their clothes?" Ikakku giggled, noting that both Kira and Hisagi had finally lost it.

Iba grinned evilly. "Don't forget the booze."

**Up Next! Christmas Trees and Puddings!**


	4. Christmas Trees and Puddings

**Author's Notes:**Ohayou Minna!!! I know it's past Christmas to some people. (Here though it isn't yet, and as long as I see Christmas lanterns and Ragnarok's Christmas tree wallpaper it's still Christmas to me! HAHAHAH!) I hope you've found this fic fun to read so far, and just to remind you, I'm sticking with the timeline, which is just after the Bountou Arc. So, sorry to Espada fans, they aren't included in this fic; but if you ask me nicely, I'll see what I can do! Thanks to the following:

**Hassun:**Thanks for pointing out my mistakes! I have already made the necessary corrections.

**Viper:**I'm glad you found it funny so far! Do continue to read and enjoy the next chapter.

**Katty008:**I apologize for being cruel as you say, either for making fun of the ex-captains in Hueco Mundo or making Iba and Ikakku steal the vice-captain's clothes! LOL.

**To the rest of the readers:**Thanks so much for reading this fic, this one's got the most hits so far! I'm going to end this fic in the next chapter (finally) which I will be uploading soon (yes, before the lanterns and the christmas wallpapers are gone! LOL). So without further ado, here is the fourth installment!

**Chapter Four: Christmas Trees and Puddings**

It started like this.

"What's a Ryoukai's Christmas like?" Yachiru suddenly asked, startling poor Inoue who accidentally spilled some of the eggs from the batter she was mixing.

Inoue placed a finger on her cheek thoughtfully. She felt obliged to answer, not only because this was a lieutenant she was talking to, but also because this kitchen also belonged to Kenpachi - or whoever it is who cooked for the eleventh division.

"Uhm, we buy presents for the people we love. We put them under the Christmas tree, to be opened on Christmas morning. Little children wake up early to open presents, and to see if Santa Claus left a gift for them, and if the cookies and milk they left for him are gone. We also have christmas feasts, we make eggnog, like this one, also we have puddings and cooked ham and - " Inoue blinked as Yachiru helped herself to a fingerfull of pre-made eggnog. "Yachiru-chan, it's not quite done-"

"Sugoi!" Yachiru squealed, attempting to dip her hand in the bowl to get more of the eggnog; apparently, Inoue lifted it higher beyond the lieutenant's reach. "Aww, whiney-chan, I want more!"

"Uhm, let me finish this first, and then you can have the first-er second taste, okay?"

"Yay! I'll wait for it then!" Yachiru jumped, grabbing the flour and sprinkling a generous amount on both of them. "Ooh! it's like snow. Whiney-chan, tell me more of your christmas!"

It continued like this.

Zaraki Kenpachi stood in the middle of the forest overseeing what Yachiru told him was a requirement for this occassion called Christmas. He summoned the urge to stop the twitching in his eyebrows as the little pink-haired lieutenant dashed this way and and that, supervising Kenpachi's underlings to find the perfect Christmas tree, as described by Inoue Orihime, and as interpreted by Yachiru.

"No, no! Christmas trees are supposed to have presents under them! Or in them!" Yachiru waved at a few clueless shinigamis carrying a cut down bamboo tree.

Kenpachi was scowling. "Yachiru, can you explain to me again, what a Christmas tree should look like before old man Yama has my head for illegal logging?"

Yachiru was spent, but has a wide smile on her face as she reiterated her interpretation of Christmas. "And it should have eggnog!"

"What eggnog!?" Kenpachi exploded, hair jingling with bells and red coat billowing under the christmas breeze. "And what the hell's with this coat?"

"It's Old man yama's christmas coat! You're supposed to be santa, and you should thank me because I'm trying to get you the perfect tree which has all the presents you can give me!"

While Kenpachi thundered about the consequences of having stolen the crimson coat from the old captain's closet, another group of frantic shinigamis rushed to Yachiru's side. "Fuku-taichou, it's not possible to find this christmas tree you're talking about." An umpteenth-seat shinigami huffed as he and the others put down a giant oak tree. "Well, this one's got eggs on its branches, but there are no such "nogs" as you say, in them. There are no presents either; my men had to drill a hole to find if there are any in the trunk but there are none. By any chance, do you know what presents look like?"

Yachiru frowned thoughtfully. She had never thought to ask Whiney-chan about that, and seemingly, the girl had disappeared, never to be found again even in the bowels of Seiretei.

A few miles away in Rukongai, Inoue sneezed, in effect covering her face with more flour from the bag she had in her arms.

"Berry-chan!" Yachiru squealed as said substitue shinigami appeared out of nowhere, followed by an eager Soi Fong.

"Soi Fong-san, the sparring is great, but it's almost evening and I need to get back to Ishida and Sado at the infirmary," Ichigo was saying, unaware of a pink haired lieutenant who had just shunpoed seemingly from nowhere.

"Hai, pleasure sparring with -" The second division captain blinked, noticing Yachiru creeping up Ichigo's shoulder.

"GAAAAH!" Ichigo yelped, a loud "Berry-chan!!!" causing a ring in his ears and thus making him throw said lieutenant toward Soi Fong, who apparently caught Yachiru with an "Oomph!" and a mouthful of snow.

"Berry-chan!" Yachiru yelled, reattaching herself to the hem of Ichigo's robe, ignoring a huffing Soi Fong. "Help us and Ken-chan find a christmas tree!"

While Yachiru babbled on about her quest for a perfect christmas, Ichigo was slow on the uptake to put the words Ken-chan and christmas tree together; for no one would associate a giant killing machine with a cheery, wholesome, holiday occassion.

"-took his coat so that Ken-chan can be santa-"

Soi Fong, who now stood beside Ichigo shared the bewildered look on the boy's face.

"Berry-chan!" Yachiru pouted. "You're spacing out again! I'm asking you something!"

Ichigo blinked stupidly. "eh?"

"Do Eggnogs grow on Christmas trees?" Yachiru repeated impatiently. "Ken-chan and I really want the perfect Christmas tree, complete with eggnogs and presents and cookies and milk and lights and stars and glass balls and icicles just like Whiney-chan said!"

"Kenpachi?" Ichigo finally frowned, looking around and spotting the captain in the clearing, visibly shaking with rage. In a santa outift.

"Bwahahahah!"

"Shi-ne!" It was the last straw for the eleventh division captain. With a war cry and his zanpaktou in hand, he chased the substitute shinigami throughout the forest and all of Rukongai.

It ended like this.

The last thing Inoue remembered was that she was on her way to a stall to get more flour, but encountered a running Ichigo with an angry Ken-chan on his trail. She and her stash of eggnog was probably dragged along; evidence of Ichigo sleeping a few feet away, with Kenpachi snoring loudly on top of him and the four empty bottles of eggnog lying on the floor.

"Whiney-chan!" Yachiru shouted, pulling Inoue by the hair. "Come quick! Look at my presents!"

"Wha?" Inoue mumbled incoherently, squinting at the fierce morning sun as well as from the sting that one gets when someone pulls you by the hair.

"Come on! Don't go sleepy again. Look at the trees! They're the biggest presents ever!"

Inoue blinked and sure enough, the yard outside was full of trees of varied kinds, shapes and sizes. There was a willow tree decorated by cookies and stars, an oak tree with its drilled holes stuffed with eggs, a dead tree frozen with icicles, and a pumpkin vine. Inoue blinked again; these were among the weirdest of the dozens of trees propped up haphazardly, crowding the little garden.

"Whiney-chan! I took some of your eggnog and asked these men to fill the stems of the willow tree! See, they're like long straws! And you can eat the cookies too, see!?" Yachiru bounced towards said tree and gripped a stem, oozing with milk.

"Oops!" Inoue exclaimed, narrowly missing a dozing shinigami at the foot of the tree. Wearily, she picked up a stem and true enough, the eggnog she made dripped from her fingers.

"What do you think?" Yachiru asked uncertainly, unable to read Inoue's expression. "You said this is what christmas is. You said it's not only for children but adults too! So I thought it would be good to share these trees to the rest of the division...Whiney-chan, are you mad that I stole your eggnog?"

Inoue turned to see a mouth-quivering Yachiru pulling at the hem of her clothes. Well it wasn't exactly what Christmas really was. And pumpkin vines were a far cry from Christmas trees in the human world. But.."Yachiru-chan, this willow tree is ingenious!"

"Eh?"

"I've never thought of this. This is the best christmas tree ever! It's my best Christmas yet. I wish my brother was here to share these with me." Inoue said almost tearfully, that Yachiru's face lightened up like the brightest star in the garden. She made a move to give her the biggest hug she could afford when a thundering voice, seemingly from up above startled them and a few alert shinigamis.

And came from above it did, for they found Old man Yama on the tiled roof, having shunpoed from somewhere (honestly the shunpo-ing from nowhere must stop!), speechless and enraged at the spectacle in front of him. Why, who authorized the transfer of one-sixteenth of the forest to the eleventh division grounds? And his pumpkin patch too?! "What is this MADNESS?" He finally bellowed.

"It's not madness. It's Christmas!" Yachiru answered back.

"Who told you to transfer a portion of my forest into your grounds? Who told you to steal my pumpkin vine? And where in heaven's name is my red coat!?"

Inoue was about to open her mouth when she noticed just then that the usual white ensemble of the captain, as well as his black robe was replaced by a short, shiny yellow robe. The glint of the sun against the material, as well as on his bald head made him shine like a star. It really didn't help that he was standing a few meters above a tree, the one that looked the closest like the christmas tree in the human world.

Just then, Kenpachi arose, and though he tried to be inconspicuous, it really is hard not to notice a giant trying to sneak out and avoid stepping on his drunken comrades.

"YOU!" Came that thundering voice from the heavens. "Where do you think you're going with my coat?!" old man Yama pointed an accusing finger towards the big captain.

"Uh..." Kenpachi slowly turned around and tried to think of an excuse, because although he was also quite fast at shunpo, the sick, sick old bastard can still outrun him, and the urge to suddenly whack the old man's knees with Ichigo's zanpaktou was stronger than ever.

They were interrupted by a nagging cry of a child and they all looked towards the source of the noise. A woman shinigami was trying to calm down her little sister, and a fellow shinigami came to help her. "Now, now, please don't cry. They're not mad at you, child. Come now and smile for us."

The small scene forced the grounds to be quiet to observe the spectacle. The child's recognized guardians did their best to bring peace to the child, else they suffer the old man's wrath.

When Ichigo came to his senses (due to the ruckus that was the child and old man Yama) He saw three more shinigamis come closer to the child to offer some cookies and eggnog and...pumpkins. Perhaps to quiet the child but then, these items they brought were of no use to the child. He was about to voice out his reason when the picture suddenly struck him.

And then he laughed uncontrollably.

"Three...child..." Ichigo tried to put it into words and when he failed, he pointed at the shinigamis, the child and lastly at old man Yama. "STAR! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"You pompuous...I bet it this was all your idea!" The old man shook with rage and the all out madness began once again. The chase was on poor Ichigo and Kenpachi, amidst the obstacles they had to overcome (drunk shinigamis, spilt eggnogs and humonguous trees propped here and there) before they could reach their blessed freedom, the exit of the eleventh division grounds which seemed oh so very, very, far away.

A beaming Yachiru turned towards a slightly harrassed Inoue. "I love this christmas! Don't you Whiney-chan?"

TBC

**Up Next!: Carollers and Fireworks!**

p.s. Having written Old man Yama looking like a star suddenly reminded me of Patrick in Spongebob... LMAO! To Old man Yama fanatics, I'm deeply sorry. XDDDD!


End file.
